How this all started

I had my first cigarette at the age of 12 and smoked until I quite at age 21 when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. I have not had a cigarette in almost 2 years. The week I quit smoking I gained 5 pounds. Every time I wanted a cigarette I eat. I was not that worried about it because I was pregnant and assumed I would lose the weight after my baby was born. I continued to eat like crazy during the pregnant. I started out weighing 150 which was 25 pounds below what I weight when I got pregnant with my first child, I ended the preganancy at 210 pounds. 3 weeks after Aeryn was born i had only lost 15 pounds. I continued to eat like crazy, replacing smoking for food. I gained 7 pounds over Christmas of 05 because my mother is law is such a good baker. I slowly gained all the weight that I had lost back until i know weight the exact same that i did when Aeryn was born. With my first child, Randin, I weighed 175 pounds when I got pregnant and only gained 25 pounds. Randin weighed 8 pounds 10 ounces at birth. I gained 60 pounds with Aeryn and she only weighed 6 pounds 7 ounces.

I have managed to lose a few pounds but always gain them back. I can not stop eating. I can be full and actually have my tummy hurt from eating a little too much and then still want something to eat. I've tried gum and candy to stop to desire to eat but it does not satisfy my desire for food. The things that I crave are not healthy. I crave cheese because I am allergic to dairy. It simples turns my cheeks red and can give me an upset stomach but cheese on anything is what I want.
I also crave chocolate which I think is a normal craving. I eat way to much of it. the last thing that i crave is soda pop. I always was a huge soda junkie but it was only like one a day because my mother did not let us have that much. when I moved in with my husband, who only drinks pop, i started consuming more. From the time I met him until the time I got pregnant with Randin I went from a size 10 jeans to a size 12. I quit drinking pop when I found out i was pregnant with Randin and lose 10 pounds in 2 weeks. I did not drink any caffeine during My pregnancy with Randin and he was a big baby. With AEryn i did drink soda, sometimes 2 or 3 a day, and she was a much smaller baby then Randin was. I contribute the caffeine to the difference in their sizes.
I still drink soda like there is no tomorrow. I must drink anywhere from 3 to 5 a day. There are days that I do better then other and only drink 1 but those are way. I will not buy my kind of pop and buy bottles of water, and that does help in cutting down the amount of pop I drink and increased my water intake. I did this 2 months ago and lost 2 pounds but it did not last and i've gained that back. I know that pop is my weakness and if I would give it up it would be a big help in my losing the weight that is taking over my life. first thing in the moring i get up and have a soda which would not be too bad if that was my only one but it never is.

This moring I had a Dr. pepper, 3 eggs, 3 pieces of bacon, and 2 pieces of toast with jelly. I also realized that I ate two other pieces of bacon that I did not count because they were not on my plate. I pick at my kids food and do not even realized that i am doing it.

I know that I must cut back on the soda and picking food off my kids plates. these will be my new goal for the next couple of days.