loving the fat- the new goal

I've lost a few pounds so that is a good thing. This morining the scale read 230 which is so much better then the 236 I weighded in at a few months ago. I had been down to 228 last week but working full time and drinking a hell of a lot of soda was not great. I did eat out a few times but for the most part ate microwavable meals. So that might be something. I really think not eating out a lot will be very helpful.
I have notice that I drink a lot of pop when I am not at home. At home I drink some pop but a lot of water mostly at night when I get home from work. This means that I have to get up and pee in the middle of the night a lot but I know I need all the water I can get.
Something I have done in the last few weeks was come to the decision to accept my weight. I had so many clothes that I couldn't wear because they didn't fit, were too tight or show off my pregnant looking tummy. I know to help my self esteem that I need to make sure that all my clothes fit me and made me fill good about myself. I just packed away a box of clothes that didn't fit. In the prosses I found a few clothes that I though didn't fit but in fact did.
I am hoping that by doing this, by accepting me for who I am, that I will be more comfortable being me. I know I need to lose the weight to be healthy but being down on myself and hating the way I look is going to make me more depressed and will cause me to eat more. If I can accepted and love myself the way I am I will happy and more mentally healthy. I am still going to try to lose the weight but am going to try to love myself more.
I am off of work today and will make it a point of working out especially since I will be going to Red Lobster for lucnh because my husband got me a gift certificate for Christmas. I am going to enjoy it because we have not gone there in years but I will not be getting on the scale tomorrow.

I just don't know

I thought I had been doing well. I ate out Last Friday and then last Saturday. I have not eaten out for the last 3 days not a big deal but the scale says I am 4 pounds heavier then I was on Sunday. I did just drink a lot of water right before I got on the scale but I know that it did not add that much weight to me. I thought I had been doing good but I guess not.

It has to be the snacking. I get a nutty butty bar and a coke in the morning. I usually have some kind of snack around 8:30 and then eat lunch at 11:40. I then come home and eat another snack and then eat dinner late that night and sometimes have a snack later. OMG that is so much eating now that I see it in writing.


My Goals for the next few days are

• Go walking tonight
• work on the WII FIT on Wensday for at least 30 minutes
• drink only 1 coke a day
• Carry my water jug to school this week instead of getting coke
• stop snacking at my planning period
• do not snack after school, come home and have an early dinner

Hopefully I can do all of these things. I just can not stand being like this anymore.

disgusted with myself

The scale reached a number I never thought I would see under me. 232. I am just disgusted with myself right now. i know it is from eating out at night. Everyone morning before school my friend and I stop at a gas station. I get a coke and something for breakfast like a nutty butty bar. not the best breakfast I know. Since, I am student teaching I eat lunch with my students. I eat the school lunch and know that it is healthy. The problem is that it is not a lot of food and I am starving by the time I leave school. since I have some school loan money left we just stop on the way home and grab food. I think I ate out everyday last week. The weekends also kill me because I work on Saturday and always go to subway. not the best idea let me tell you. I also had 3 cokes yesterday. Today we had an early meeting and we got Hardee's for lunch.

I also am not working out. I do a lot of walking at school. enough that the nutty butty bar would not be a huge deal, it is the eating after school that is hurting me. I am so tired by the time I get home that I can think of cooking.

My goal for the day is no more cokes and only one snack before dinner
my goal for the week is only to eat out once.
I also need to keep updated this and recording what I eat. seeing it in print makes it more really how much I am eating.

well well

I was doing so well on the Wii fit. Actually starting to lose a few ounces and then all the hard work went out the window. I started working full time. By the time I would get home I would be hurting to bad to be able to exercise. On my days off I would be too tired to work out at the end of the day.
I start school again on Monday and was giving the 4 days prior to it off of work. I did my Wii fit for the first time since June. I work out for an hour. my legs are hurting pretty bad right now.

I have cut done on the pop though. I got on the scale on Tuesday and it said 231. that is the highest I have ever been. I have gone down to about 1 pop a day. I about down to 227. not great but a difference. I did have two pops today because I ate out at Hardee's for lunch and then had pizza for dinner.It won't happen again hopefully. I know I probably consumed more calories today then I should have even after working out.

After all that good food and then exercising I am making Nick get me some chocolate. I am craving it. I so addicted to food.

Wii Fit

Well it is the middle of June and while I have not lost any weight, I have not gained any either. This is a good thing because my life style during the summer is more sedentary then during the school year. Last summer I gained over 8 pounds. the main reason that I have not gained any weight is my wii fit. I got the Wii Fit game over a month ago and work out on it 3 or 4 days a week from anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour and 30 minutes. I like the conveince of the game along with the variety of games. I love the boxing game and also the free step and free run where you can changed the channel and watch tv while you step or run for 30 minutes. This is really a plus for me because I get bored just working out. My mind has to be working which is why I am such a book person.

I have not really curved my eating habits except for the fact that I have started to drink sweet tea at home. I still am having a pop or 2 a day but i am really liking the sweet tea. I am not sure if the tea is any heather but at least it does not have the sodium that pop does.

I am really hoping to lose at least a few pounds by the time school starts but i am coming to grips with being overweight and am going to focus on getting healthier. weight loss will come will better health and that is how I need to start looking at it.

New Update

So its been 6 months since the last time I posted. This last semester has been hell for me. I was in the elementary education methods block, which included 120 observation hours plus 4 upper level classes. I actually did about 180 observation hours which included a least 2 if not 4 lessons for each day I was there which was Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I also worked anywhere from 22 to 30 hours a week as a cashier for Best Buy. On Fridays I literally went straight from school to work. I loved working with the students and love my job but can not waiting until I am out of school and have a full time job as a teacher.

As you probably can imagine I did not have a lot of time for much this semester, especially taking care of myself. I ate where I could, what I could. I did get a lot of exercise running around the elementary school but my diet canceled that out. I ate out a lot and even when I didn't I drank a lot of pop. I was barely getting any sleep since after the kids went to bed I had to do school work. The pop was the only thing keeping me awake.

The semester is over and I am not taking any summer classes. Just working 2 days a week and studying for the test to get my teaching certificate. I am now worried that my weight is going to go up. Last summer I gained 8 pounds because of the lack of excersise and I can not afford for that to happen again. I have been trying to get outside and play with my kids but I don;t have a lot of energy I did buy the Wii Fit and have been working out on that. It is fun and convinent and I can only hope that it helps me lose some weight.